6.11.13

iPhones and me (the tragic story)


Living in the information age without a smart phone is a little bit like being a cave man. Except this cave man is a fossil, in a museum, in the twenty first century. When people hear I don't have an iPhone a glum demeanor befalls them and they look upon me like I just ate a dead roadkill porcupine. Throughout my exploration into the college realm I have discovered living in the dark ages is starting to become a draw back. Probably one of the worst things with this information age is an inability to brag.

   


This can cause untold problems because I may sometimes lightly massaged facts about my life.
Seeing how my entire family has dumb phones when we get lost on road trips we swing in to buy a map at gas stations. Funny thing is that people with smart phones assume everyone has a smart phone. So guess what happens in gas stations! No Map. The people running the station then try to explain to us the concept of an iPhone and all about a GPS navigation app that comes pre-installed onto it. I am no technological idiot; but for some reason if you don't have an iPhone then you qualify as one. Now I'm not saying smart phones don't have a place in this world but, I want a map gosh dang it and I can choose to have on if I want.

Another awkward situation iPhones have caused is what I like to call “OnlyguyatthetablewithoutaniPhone syndrome”. This plagues me especially at lunch breaks with friends.



Not to say iPhones don't have their place (I mean who wouldn't want to watch a video of a kitten while talking to a friend) but it has got to end! Or at least end it when your around me because I am kind of old fashioned that way. Oh I also finally found the word for grammar freaks out there trying to correct my punctuation on my blog. Pilkunnussija (Finnish)
A person who believes it is their destiny to stamp out all spelling and punctuation mistakes at the cost of popularity, self-esteem and mental well-being.
I would like to not the last part in the description. COST of popularity, self-esteem and mental well-being (I'm just saying).

It's been a little while oh loyal followers but I will see if I can post more often. 

25.9.12

The Hunger Games Survival Guide

Hello people, plants and monkeys ,I say this because plants have feelings and people seem to think monkeys have something to do with our existence (keep on typing out Shakespeare's work monkeys!). I am writing to say I have been procrastinating on my blog until I got some inspiration. Luckily I have a loyal follower who has requested that I write a blog about the Hunger Games. If you have no idea what the Hunger Games is about your most possibly blind, mute, and deaf (and if you are reading this blog then you know about the Hunger Games). But just to be safe the Hunger Games is a book about kids who have special talents that they use to kill other kids (nice isn't it). Our family happens to own five copies of the first book, and the trilogy. I thought approximately 36 seconds on what to write, and came up with a guide on how to survive the hunger games.
First comes title!!!


STEP ONE: Don't get chosen. It sounds simple if you don't get chosen then you don't die.

STEP TWO:  If step one fails and you have to participate in the Hunger Games go looking like you just got hit by a train. With any luck they might do some sort of surgical enhancement on you, to make you stronger.


STEP THREE: If step one fails and step two fails then you must come up with a obscure talent that may or may not impress the judges. 

STEP FOUR: Don't kill any of the people who might possibly send you gifts.

STEP FIVE: Try to make friends with the giant mutant killer zombie squirrels.

STEP SIX: When in the games there are three ways that sponsors will send you presents.
1) You actually have a talent (I do not)
2) You are good at kissing people in order to make people like you (moms don't count)
3) You have good looks (nailed that one).


STEP SEVEN: This is possibly the most important step in all of the steps to survive the Hunger Games. In order to survive you must win the games. Its harder than it sounds.

If you follow these guidelines you have a (1/24) GREAT chance to WIN!
Lets end with an ending.


11.7.12

Job Drama

Hello People Animals and Aliens reading this blog. And also Plants since you do have feelings, although it is unlikely you are reading this blog. It has been a while since I have posted my last post so I thought I might catch you up on my greatest life achievements in the past months (and some of my not so great achievements).
For starters I got a job. Wait!.... not just one but TWO! Parents have a strange way of handling things when there son gets his first (multiple) jobs. Mom handles things just like this, except I must dull down how she really is in my cartoons so as not to alarm anybody.







And this happened many days in a row for a long time until I started both of my jobs.
Dad on the other hand had a totally different reaction to my news.

Both reactions to the news was more different than I had thought it would be. Besides the fact that my dad getting me ready to leave the house and my mom is wanting me to revert to becoming a two year old so she can raise me again my job's have been going good. No serious injuries to the body or my mental status have happed wile on the job so I think I am fine.