Math Amoeba

First it started with the zero in primordial soup.

 

Eventually it grew into more advanced math equations.

The now more advanced amoeba wanted to get out of the soup and onto land.

And it did. Then its purpose was to hunt me down and eventually eat me.

I was able to fight them off at first. But then they got bigger.

And bigger.
By the time I get to Einstein's theory of relativity I think something like the picture bellow will happen to me. 

The Utilla-Chuck

 

 

Diamond story

Many people have never been offered the chance for fame and glory. And those who are offered it usually take it. This is my story on what happened that fateful day. It was a summer morning; my friends and I were on the mountain (on my friend’s property). I believe we were playing chicken. Seeing how close the other would get to the edge of the rock cliff before jumping back to safety. I was waiting my turn in line when I saw a glimmer in the rocks. 

 

I went over to investigate and to my surprise I found something. 

 As it turns out I am a very convincing liar because it was decided that I would get 60% and they would split 40%. Later on that day we found almost a wheelbarrow full of these diamonds. We went inside to show the parents. 

 

I didn’t believe them at first and I went to look it up. Sure enough they were quartz crystals. It was a real bummer that they were not diamonds or I could be living on a tropical island right now instead of shoveling snow off of our roof.