25.9.12

The Hunger Games Survival Guide

Hello people, plants and monkeys ,I say this because plants have feelings and people seem to think monkeys have something to do with our existence (keep on typing out Shakespeare's work monkeys!). I am writing to say I have been procrastinating on my blog until I got some inspiration. Luckily I have a loyal follower who has requested that I write a blog about the Hunger Games. If you have no idea what the Hunger Games is about your most possibly blind, mute, and deaf (and if you are reading this blog then you know about the Hunger Games). But just to be safe the Hunger Games is a book about kids who have special talents that they use to kill other kids (nice isn't it). Our family happens to own five copies of the first book, and the trilogy. I thought approximately 36 seconds on what to write, and came up with a guide on how to survive the hunger games.
First comes title!!!


STEP ONE: Don't get chosen. It sounds simple if you don't get chosen then you don't die.

STEP TWO:  If step one fails and you have to participate in the Hunger Games go looking like you just got hit by a train. With any luck they might do some sort of surgical enhancement on you, to make you stronger.


STEP THREE: If step one fails and step two fails then you must come up with a obscure talent that may or may not impress the judges. 

STEP FOUR: Don't kill any of the people who might possibly send you gifts.

STEP FIVE: Try to make friends with the giant mutant killer zombie squirrels.

STEP SIX: When in the games there are three ways that sponsors will send you presents.
1) You actually have a talent (I do not)
2) You are good at kissing people in order to make people like you (moms don't count)
3) You have good looks (nailed that one).


STEP SEVEN: This is possibly the most important step in all of the steps to survive the Hunger Games. In order to survive you must win the games. Its harder than it sounds.

If you follow these guidelines you have a (1/24) GREAT chance to WIN!
Lets end with an ending.


4 comments:

  1. Hahahah oh my that was amazing! I am so amused, great job Devin!

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  2. You used your "giant mutant killer zombie squirrels" in a blog a while back. And I've never heard that they were in any arena in any hunger games. And you know what I think? The Hunger Games is turning into Twilight. All the girls are nuts for Peeta's actor and the ridiculousness drama of the books. First of all, why the heck wouldn't she marry Peeta? We all knew is would happen, and duh there's gonna be a revolution but does she REALLY have to dress up in a costume and shoot some people? With a bow? I mean c'mon! If you want drama choose to watch something like MadMen. XD And then they go and start and go: "Lets do a revenge Hunger Games cause I am an idiot and self centered. Oh my sisiter go killed so now I want more people to die for that" I am hastily loosing interest in the Hunger Games.

    -Wes

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    Replies
    1. First of all, in Twilight, all that happens is a girl marries a sparkly pale guy and almost dies. In the Hunger Games, a brave young girl volunteers as tribute for her little sister and leads a revolution that saves the people of Panem. Who is more awesome? And as for the mutant squirrels, you obviously have not read the second book where it mentions that in past hunger games, (the one Haymitch won) there were, in fact, killer squirrels. Hope that cleared a bit up for you.

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    2. I have a few things to say.
      1) I was seeing if anyone noticed that I reused the Giant Mutant Killer Zombie Squirrel picture (I think it is funny).
      2) No one ever won an argument via chat or comment box. Furthermore I will remove any comment from my blog that I do not see fit, or insults my blog.
      3) The Hunger Games is based on the Roman empire and the revolt of Spartacus. The Roman empire controlled its people through entertainment in the Colosseum. That is why I enjoyed the Hunger Games.
      4) I was asked to write about the Hunger Games so I did.
      I ask that there are no more debates on my blog. Post what you think on YOUR blog not mine. I post what I want to post and I am not changing what I think because you think the hunger games is a lame book.
      -Devin-

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