Alien survival guide

Devin’s Guide to surviving alien attacks offers you a visual aid on what to do when; getting abducted, fighting, greeting, and getting zapped by aliens.
1)      1) First sighting of an alien.
When you see an alien you will probably start to panic. This is normal, and ok. If you don’t panic then the alien will probably see you as a threat and zap you. In times of panicking you should consider running around. This will enhance the panic factor and make you a harder target to shoot. 
1)      2) Next you will want to know how to greet the aliens. Some people say the best way to greet an alien is to give them a nice firm handshake or slapping them across the face (50-50 chance of living on the latter one). I have composed Do’s and Don’ts on alien greetings. 

3)  When do aliens come? Aliens come whenever they want to. The usually show up approximately when you are least expecting them. 
It happens just like this. Then they take you and use you for experiments. They also seem to like to abduct cows and monkeys and switch the brains out with humans. Then they beam them back down. I know a few people myself, who have gotten their brains switched out with a monkeys.
1)      4) When aliens announce that they are taking over the world here are your best plans of action.
a)      Run and hide.
b)      Become an alien pet.
c)       Shoot guns at them before they can vaporize you.
d)      Give your little brother as a sacrifice. If you have none of these around then a sister or friend will work.
e)      Convince the aliens that you are smart enough to be left alive.
f)       Volunteer for the cow/monkey brain transplants.
When aliens have taken over the earth it is ok to remain calm. The aliens will know you are under their control, and so you will not need to panic any more. If you still feel like panicking then that is ok too. 
This concludes my short guide on how to survive an alien attack.


  1. I could name a few people who have had the monkey/human transplant! :D Awesome as usual, Devin. I think this may be your best one yet!

  2. Agreed this could be the best one:D

  3. Very nice. Very nice indeed.