38 dollar egg.

Some people can get their chickens to lay year round. In the winter our chickens seem to become lazy and not lay eggs.

The other guy always has eggs and is selling them to the people (like me) who don’t get any eggs in the winter. We have researched how to get our chickens to lay eggs and come up with all sorts of crazy ideas.
Feed them hot stuff is one solution. This does not seem to work and our chickens look like this afterwards.

The nest is empty.
We also try different things in order to get the chickens active.

The nest is still empty.
This however does not work very well. So I try my own remedy.

The nest seems even more so empty.
However the chickens cannot speak English so this does not work.
Our chickens during the winter not only stop laying eggs but they start eating more.

This costs us a fortune.
Then one day while I was hauling another cart of food to the chickens I looked in the nest and saw it.
I snatched up the egg and ran inside to show my parents.

Once I had finally passed out from yelling my parents brought me to my room and chained me to the bed so that I would not go out and strangle the chickens one by one. While I was in my room I absently counted how much I had spent for that one broken egg. Approximately 38 dollars. If you find a way to get your chickens to lay eggs you should alert me imminently as I am about to eat them. 


  1. LOL! I love it! I say; "Eat 'em." :D

  2. We have pretty pampered chickens! They should be more grateful and lay eggs!

  3. Sounds a little too much like Welfare Animals to me. SHOT! GUN! Then again you may want to break a record and expend some more money to get a more valuable egg and so if you drop that then your scream can be heard by... By... by the next galaxy over. Who knows.

  4. I think this is like the best one you've made. I would just buy eggs though for a few bucks than spend 38 on one even if it was at a five star restaurant. Oh, and by the way, I agree with Wesley. I would shoot the @!*&%$ chicken just to get my anger out. Then I would eat it so that at least one way or the other it would be providing food for me.