38 dollar egg.

Some people can get their chickens to lay year round. In the winter our chickens seem to become lazy and not lay eggs.

The other guy always has eggs and is selling them to the people (like me) who don’t get any eggs in the winter. We have researched how to get our chickens to lay eggs and come up with all sorts of crazy ideas.

Feed them hot stuff is one solution. This does not seem to work and our chickens look like this afterwards.

The nest is empty.

We also try different things in order to get the chickens active.

The nest is still empty.

This however does not work very well. So I try my own remedy.

The nest seems even more so empty.

However the chickens cannot speak English so this does not work.
Our chickens during the winter not only stop laying eggs but they start eating more.

This costs us a fortune.
Then one day while I was hauling another cart of food to the chickens I looked in the nest and saw it.

I snatched up the egg and ran inside to show my parents.

Once I had finally passed out from yelling my parents brought me to my room and chained me to the bed so that I would not go out and strangle the chickens one by one. While I was in my room I absently counted how much I had spent for that one broken egg. Approximately 38 dollars. If you find a way to get your chickens to lay eggs you should alert me imminently as I am about to eat them. 

Sir. Devin and Marcus

There are two kinds of people in this world; People who own rams, and people who don’t.

I happen to be one of the people who owned a ram. I personally didn’t own it but our family did. His name was Marcus, the mightiest of all male sheep. Behind bars (the fence) he was a loveable sheep; but when he got out he was a living battering ram.
He was a tough ram.
One day my sister and I were playing outside and Marcus broke his chain. Seeking revenge he immediately charged the first person in sight. This happened to be my little sister. Thankfully she was a smart one and climbed up onto a tire (the kind you see in playgrounds, the ones you can play on).

This is what it looked like. Then there was me, blissfully unaware of the danger that was happening.

Turns out she was lying about the bow; that was just to get my attention. I wandered over to the scene causally. And checked the damage.

Besides my sister screaming everything seemed to be O.K. But I knew I had to do something; be the hero, save the day sort of thing. So I told my sister to stay where she was, and I was to go dawn on some armor and fight the beast.

*Note* Do not attempt this at all! Especially with a dollar store set of plastic armor! They need to start putting a warning on their gear “Does not work in real life”.
I went out to fight the ram. I felt invincible, like Sir George and the Dragon. I was Sir George and Marcus was the dragon. And there he was. Our eyes met. We gave each other cold stares, hoping the other would back down.

And then he laughed at me, and charged. I stood ready to face him.

This went on two more times, of me getting up and then getting run over. While I was distracting the Ram my sister ran.
I am still unsure to this day how I got out of that alive. But I do know I am alive now so I must have made it. I remember a lot of the time crying on the ground while Marcus stood over me, daring me to get up again.  I also remember this was my sisters reaction (she had run to my mom and gotten her so she was there also).

97.03% true story.

New years party

New years is a party that I look forward to all year. The party, in a nutshell, goes like this. Party starts at 7:00 P.M. and ends at 12:00 A.M. Guests come at 3:00 P.M. We end up starting early because everyone is already at our house before the party starts. We dance, and dance, and dance. All the kids get hyped up on sugar and the adults drink wine and beer. And we dance, and dance, and dance. But before all of this happens I look like somewhat like this all day waiting for the party to start.

Once the party finally starts (which takes forever because time is trying to commit suicide so the party won’t start) everyone gears up in a costume (we have a theme every year) and then we dance until our legs fall off.  This year the theme was star trek (in case anyone was wondering, YES, I AM A TREKKIE! And no, I do not know how to speak klingon). Also the person below is one of the fellows who came to the party.

One of the highlights of the party is, one of the family’s; that attends our New Years Eve party every year, brings fudge.

(above)Me happy again because there is fudge.
I know people who would have killed for that fudge, that’s how good it is. As soon as the Plate ‘O Fudge hits the counter it’s gone.

Sometimes, when I am able to claw my way through the crowd to the fudge, I can see the last peace disappear.

And then it’s gone! Thankfully there were three plates this year and I was able to snag a piece from the crowd. I snatched it right out of his mouth, and ate it!
Soda and bean dip are also what fuels our party. (Below me after dancing for 4 hours straight inhaling soda.)

And we dance.

Finally when everyone is done partying (approximately 1:00 A.M.) we go to bed instantly. As soon as our heads hit the pillow we are out.

The next morning everyone pretty much looks like zombies.

This pretty much concludes my new year, every year.